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Redneck Jokes

Rednecks Jokes, You'd think I'd be affend by this crap but I ain't I think its funny well at least the shit Jeff Foxworthy does it hehe..well hear are some for your entertainment..

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  • What's the last thing you usually hear before a
    redneck dies?
    'Hey y'all... Watch this!'
  • Q: How do you castrate a redneck?
    A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
  • You Might Be a Redneck If. . .
    You go swimming in the drainage ditch behind your house.
    Your kids fight with the dogs for their dinner.
    You have more pet names for your huntin' dog than for your girlfriend.
  • Q. How can you tell if you are staying in a red neck hotel?

    A. If you call to the front desk and say you have got a leak in your sink and they say go
    ahead

  • Q. What is the similarity between a tornado and a redneck getting a divorce??
    A. Either way you loose your trailor.

  • You Might Be a Redneck If. . .
    You think a Ford Mustang is a new bread of horse.
    You prefer to sleep in the truck than in your house.
    You have heard more than four people say "Your mamma...she's naked!" before running out of a room with new heart conditions.
    You've ever stood in line to have your picture made with a freak of nature.
    You break wind in public and blame it on your kid.

Rednecks will be eaten by rabid rabbits and will be flushed down a black mans toilet.

  • Q. What is the difference between a Southern fairy tale and a Northern fairy tale?
    A. A northern fairy tale starts out "once upon a time", a southern fairy tale starts out "y'all aint gonna believe this shit!
  • You Might Be A Redneck If..
    You might just be a red neck if you house has wheels and your car doesn't.
  • You might be a redneck if your family is half your town's population!
  • You Might Be a Redneck If
    You've ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.
    Your kid calls your sister, mom.
    You think icing is what you do to your front steps before your mother in law comes over.
    You've ever tried to drown a fish.
    You've ever had to knock the spider webs down to use the bathroom.
    You wonder why there isn't a hairstyle called "The Hat Line."
  • Q.What does a redneck and a bear have in common?
    A.They both lick their paws!

 

Dear Son,

I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you first left. Your Dad read in the paper that mostaccidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address as the last family here took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in, pulled the chain, and I haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days this time. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know if you are an Aunt or and Uncle.

Not much more news this time, write soon.

Love, Mom

P.S. Was going to send you money, but the envelope was already sealed.